My Not Drinking Diary: Millie, Sober Girl Society

Name: Millie Gooch

Age: 27

Location: London, UK

1.Tell me a little bit of your drinking story …

I’ve always had a tricky relationship with alcohol. Although I could quite easily have gone for days or weeks without a drink, when I did drink, I certainly made up for the lost time. My speciality was weekend blackout binge drinking which was a hobby I started at university and didn’t stop practising until, at 26, I suddenly become very aware that my partying and subsequent hangovers were taking a noticeable toll on my mental health, productivity and general fire for life.

So, after a particularly boozy night out, of which I remember precisely 3%, I knew that my relationship with alcohol needed to end. I downloaded The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober on Audible that morning and never looked back.

2. What led you to think differently about drinking?

3. How would you describe your relationship with alcohol now?

My relationship with alcohol is over. I like to think of it as an ex-boyfriend that I have gone back to time and time again but I’ve finally realised he’s actually an arsehole that will never change. I don’t like him but he is still in my friendship group and so I’ve had to get used to being around him. We’re civil but we’ll never get back together. I’m pretty happy with my new boyfriend – sobriety.

4. What’s been the biggest challenge you’ve faced since your approach to alcohol shifted?

A lot of people find it difficult to understand why you would want to do such a big thing and as a result, can give you a bit of a hard time at the beginning. The trouble is that most people struggle to see problem drinking as a spectrum and if you haven’t lost your house and you’re not camping outside the off-license at 8am, they don’t understand that you can still have major issues around drink.

A few people tried to play the ‘you aren’t that bad’ card but those people only ever saw my hilarious 2am table dancing, not my 10am anxiety-induced shaking that left me quite paralysed and unable to get out of bed, and so I tried really hard not to let their comments discourage me. I don’t blame anyone for their reaction though, thanks to tote bags that label us ‘gin-dependent women’ and a relentless onslaught of bottomless brunch invites, heavy drinking has become so normalised in our society that it can be really tough going against the grain without sticking a big old label on yourself that you may or may not be comfortable using.

5.What lessons have you learnt about life (and yourself) since your relationship with alcohol has changed?

Contrary to what I used to think, being sober doesn’t make you boring! I’m actually more sociable now than ever. My two biggest reasons for turning down a night out used to be ‘I’ve got no money’ or ‘I don’t want to be hungover.’ Both are excuses that don’t fly anymore. Now, instead of ending my night drunk crying in a toilet with people I’ve just met and then being carried into an Uber, I’m usually the last on a dance floor and instead I drive everyone home.

6. What benefits of cutting down on alcohol or stopping drinking have you experienced?

There’s obviously a few surface benefits such as weight loss, more energy, brighter eyes, not having to call Lloyds bank on a night out to extend my overdraft and a sober-glow that’s pretty much always insta-ready. But for me, the role sobriety has played in improving my relationships, mental health and overall happiness and wellbeing has been, by far, the most important benefit.

The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober was the main one for me. I love podcasts, LoveSober and Alcohol Free Life are both great but I think it’s also helpful to listen to ones outside of not drinking. There’s no harm self-developing in other areas that can help you in your sober journey like resilience, mindful practices, kindess etc. I love Fearne Cotton’s ‘Happy Place’, Clemmie Telford’s ‘Honestly’ and Elizabeth Day’s ‘How to Fail’.

8. How do you start your day? Do you have a morning routine?

I have a bath every morning which shocks a lot of people but it sets me up perfectly. I’m not ashamed to say I spend a lot of time on my appearance. It’s not about attempting to be attractive. But if I feel better on the outside I always feel better on the inside. So I’ll always spend a while on my hair and make-up and I always overdress. Watching too many episodes of Queer Eye has taught me why looking after yourself on a surface level can be so important to what’s going on inside.

9. Do you have any rituals you always make time for?

I take dance classes weekly. For me, exercise has to be something that gets me out of my head like having to follow a routine in a class. I know it’s different for everyone. However, for me, running just gives me more time to think and that means more time to overthink! Plus, a dance class can give you more confidence about busting some serious sober moves.