My Not Drinking Diary, Clare Pooley (Author of The Sober Diaries)

I love Clare Pooley’s The Sober Diaries and I am so excited to be talking to her today! Clare gave lots of time to this interview and it contains lots and lots of insight and inspiration.

A little more about Clare before we dive in …

Clare Pooley graduated from Cambridge University, and joined the heady world of advertising.By the age of thirty she was on the board, but by the time her third child was born she was burnt out, and left to spend more time with her children. She also spent a lot more time drinking.

Three years ago, she quit, and started a blog: Mummy was a Secret Drinker. That blog led to a book, The Sober Diaries. Clare also gave a TEDx talk – Making Sober Less Shameful – available on YouTube.

Clare share’s her story bravely below, read on for her not drinking diary …

Name: Clare Pooley

Age: 49

Location: London, UK

1. Tell me a little bit about yourself …

2.Tell me a little bit of your drinking story …

I drank like many mothers do. I’d get to the end of a busy day with the kids and pour a large glass of wine to help me to ‘relax’ and feel more adult. It was my ‘me time’, and I thought that everyone else was doing the same. After all, my social media feed was littered with memes about ‘wine o’clock.’

But my one large glass a day became two, which became three, until eventually it would take a whole bottle to properly take the edge off. By the time I quit, I was drinking around ten bottles of wine a week.

3. What led you to think differently about drinking?

4. How would you describe your relationship with alcohol now?

I rarely think of him, but when I do I look back on some of the times that we shared fondly.  I don’t actually regret our relationship at all – I learned a lot from it, and wouldn’t be where I am now without it.

However, I know that he was not at all good for me! Our relationship was toxic, there were some truly dreadful times and I’d never want to go back. I’m far too happy with where I am now to risk it all for even a brief fling with him!

5. What’s been the biggest challenge you’ve faced since your approach to alcohol shifted?

Other people!

When you quit smoking, everyone congratulates you, but w

hen you quit drinking they treat you like a pariah. Alcohol is the only drug you have to justify NOT taking.

I can’t wait for the day when all the superheroes who find the courage to quit can get the recognition and applause that they deserve! It’s so sad that so many of us feel the need to make excuses for not drinking and stay anonymous.

6.What lessons have you learnt about life (and yourself) since your relationship with alcohol has changed?

I’ve rediscovered the girl I was in my early twenties. I thought she’d gone – the fearless, funny, creative person I used to be, but now she’s back (if a little battle scarred!)

I’ve learned that if you drink to blur all the difficult things in life, you blur all the good bits too.

I’ve learned to be brave, and that all the best things lie on the other side of our maximum fear. Having killed the wine witch and beaten cancer I feel like I can do anything! After all, what’s the worst that can happen?

I’ve realised that the important things in life are the little things – a beautiful sunrise, a child’s arm around your neck, lemon drizzle cake…

7. What benefits of cutting down on alcohol or stopping drinking have you experience

8. Are there any resources that have helped you to cut down or stop drinking? 

I was WAY too scared to do AA, so I found all my help online – through sober blogs like yours, soberistas.com and Club Soda.

I also read every single book on booze I could find. The book that was a real lightbulb moment for me, back in the early days, was Jason Vale’s Kick the Drink, Easily. It changed my life.

9. How do you start your day? Do you have a morning routine?

I am SUCH a morning person now! I get out of bed super early – around 5am, because I find that’s the best time to write – you think more creatively then.

I write for two hours before the children wake up, fuelled by buckets of coffee (my only remaining vice). Then, once I’ve got the children off to school, I take the dog out for a long walk, usually with a friend. So, by 10am I’ve done a fair bit of work, some exercise and had a social event. (The rest of the day often goes downhill after that!)

10. Do you have any rituals you always make time for?

I still like to wind down at ‘wine o’clock’. I’ll usually have a hot bath with aromatherapy oils, while listening to a cracking book on Audible (L’s note: I wrote about my fave audiobooks here), then I’ll make myself a mocktail, like a Seedlip with Fever Tree tonic and fresh mint and lime.