100 days alcohol free & the best advice I have to give
I’m no expert on this sobriety thing, but here’s my alcohol-free advice from 100 days of sobriety. (I’m now almost four years sober and stand by it).
Plenty of you reading this may have far more days alcohol-free than me and I salute you. I cannot wait to look back at my life & have a long stretch of sobriety that I remember. A life that I have been fully present and conscious in.
I can sometimes be embarrassed of these early days – yet talking to my lovely friend Sasha last week reminded me that this perspective I have is a blessing, and that documenting these early days could be helpful for me & maybe to some of you too …
Perhaps you’ve not decided to try it yet, you are still drinking and waiting for a sign, or a rock bottom to force you into life alcohol-free, maybe let this be your sign.
Let the decision to try an alcohol-free life become an empowering adventure rather than a fear based imprisonment.
I reread 100 days of diary entries to gather together this post so bear with me, it’s a long one.
The biggest lesson I have received from my first 100 days of not drinking is that removing the booze is not a quick fix. I thought sobriety would magic away all of my problems – it hasn’t (no shit) – but the perspective I have now is filled with potential rather than gloom & I wouldn’t swap that for the world.
100 Days Sober & my lessons learnt…
1.I don’t need to be drunk to lose things or to get lost.
I always put that down to drinking but turns out that side of my personality is just that, my personality – I left my passport in the back of a taxi last week, stone-cold sober.
2. Community is everything.
Whilst a few years ago I went to a meeting, that has not been my path this time. However, the alcohol-free movement (including Club Soda & This Naked Mind) & friends both online & in real life have been so key to lean on for support and me feeling like this has been the right decision to me
3. Sometimes I will get sick of talking about not drinking – and that’s ok.
Some days it feels all-consuming, and then some days I want to be as far away from talking and writing about sobriety as physically possible. Removing alcohol from my life has given me so much more space to be the person I wanted to be, and always was deep down, my life now is full of all the dreams & activities I always wished I had time for – so I don’t need to talk about booze all the time. It is only a tiny part of me.
4.Not having an off switch is hard work
Booze was my favourite off switch. Two glasses of wine and I’d feel relaxed and slightly numb. It quieted my mind. Removing the substance that helped me relax and chill out has been tough, but finding other ways to relax and new healthier coping mechanisms (some here, 5 ways to deal with a bad mood) has helped a lot.
5. I’m not perfect, with or without alcohol
Shocker right? I mean this one hurt. Unfortunately, removing the booze hasn’t magically healed my life and turned me into my perfect self. I think I can often get wrapped up in becoming the ‘finished’ version straight away. It’s a journey for a reason, trust the process and keep doing the work.
What has worked for me in my sobriety so far, and the alcohol-free advice I have to give:
1.Know your reasons.
Want to lose weight, be a better parent to your kids, finally get your shit together? Keep your reasons close to you but try – as best you can – to reframe this as an opportunity to find out more about yourself and to live a better life. Life in High Definition, the team at This Naked Mind are great at this.
2.Find your people.
People are so important, and people that get it even more so, just one person you can call on when you’re feeling shit or when you’re feeling great can make a massive difference. I wrote about some groups and resources to help you here, and there’s also a massive instagram community if that’s your jam (it’s mine), who will lift you up when you need lifting up & provide massive amounts of inspiration and support. If you want more inspiration, you can also read my advice on how to make sober friends.
3.Find inspiration and fast.
Look around you, who’s living their life the way you want too? Who’s doing cool stuff you like the look of? Seek them out, read their stuff and get inspired with everything you want to do. I read every book on giving up drinking when I first started thinking about stopping (Annie Grace’s This Naked Mind I highly recommend, as well as Sarah Hepola’s Blackout) but I also got massively inspired by yoga teachers and adventurers. There’s so much I want to do, and it is so much easier to do without a hangover.
If you need more support, joining a sober coaching programme or getting 1-2-1 help can work wonders.
Now over 4 years alcohol-free, and having got my shit together, I work with women on their alcohol-free journey to build confidence, self-esteem and embrace living lives they love. You can find out more about working with me here.
Annie Grace has built on her awesome This Naked Mind book and now runs a free 30 day challenge: The Alcohol Experiment, Control Alcohol. She also offers a This Naked Mind Intensive video training.
If you’re looking for someone UK based, Stephanie Chivers specialises in helping women to stop drinking. She has a Stop Drinking and Start Living online coaching programme that costs £47 and includes membership to a small, supportive Facebook group.
I rate both of these women, and worked with them both in my sobriety journey. Annie’s book helped me in my first 100 days alcohol free.
4.Get a (new) routine.
Morning routines can be super helpful to get you off to a good start and set you up for the day, post here if you want to dive a bit deeper into that … It also helps to identify when you used to drink and put new routines in place to change your mindset. For me now, unless I’m out and about I always have a bath when I go to bed with a cup of herbal tea (no more wine and netflix) and I often go to a late night yoga class, or practice at home with Movement for Modern Life (if you want to give them a try they have a 14 day free trial), in place of Thursday night drinks.
5.Some people won’t get sobriety, and that’s ok.
They are not your people right now. Don’t fight it or them. Be comfortable in making the right decisions for you right now.
6.Embrace affirmations/mantras
Sorry if I lose you here to the woo woo but honestly, I think these have got me through some of the tough days. Save them on your phone, or write them down wherever you are. Take the ones that resonate with you, and discard the rest. Come back to these throughout the day. These are some of the ones I’ve picked up in my first 100 days:
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- Life is easy for me (thanks Gail Love Schock for this)
- I accept myself as I am
- I am willing to see this situation differently. I can choose peace instead of this (from A Course in Miracles)
- I love and appreciate myself
- I am enough
- I am present. I am grounded. There is nowhere else I need to be
- I deserve the best and accept it now
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7. Give yourself a break.
You are not going to be perfect at this, your whole life will not change overnight but you are putting in place the things you need and your future self will thank you for it. Day by day. And my life has changed quite a lot in 100 of those days …
8. Learn to say “No Thank You”.
That doesn’t work for me any more. Another piece of magic from Gail that I have held on to. You don’t need a reason, you don’t need to consistently explain yourself. It is ok to say no thank you and walk away from a situation. So often we can get wrapped up in what other people think of us, and pressured to do things we don’t want to (go on, just one drink – sound familiar?) People will learn and adapt. Add no thank you to your vocabulary and be safe in the knowledge that you are allowed to change.
So that’s my lot, here’s to the next 100 days of sobriety and to the rest of my life. If you found this helpful, let me know – I’m thinking I might run alcohol free advice pieces when I hit my next few milestones.
I’d love to hear your reflections, I love to chat! Send me an email or find me on instagram.
All my love, as always, L xx
Enjoyed this post? You might also like …
Reflecting. 200 Days Ago I decided to Quit Drinking
One Year Sober & 3 Lessons I Learnt Along The Way
Going Sober. 6 Things I’ve Learnt at 500 Days Alcohol Free
You can find this post linked to some of these amazing link ups
Bloggers Link Up / #BloggerClubUK / #TriumphantTales / #AnythingGoes / #DreamTeam / #ABloggingGoodTime
March 24, 2017 @ 3:07 PM
This is lovely to read and some brilliant tips, thank you! 🙂 x
March 24, 2017 @ 8:14 PM
I am so pleased for you. I have tried for 4 years now and still haven’t got that far! Love your posts and instagram and hope one day to get to where you have!
March 24, 2017 @ 8:52 PM
I love this and one day I’d like to give it a try. I’ve cut back to one/two drinks only on the weekend for lent and I feel so much better. I look forward to reading more of your suggestions and following your journey.
March 25, 2017 @ 2:20 AM
What a great change in life for you. There aren’t really any positive things I can think of when it comes to alcohol, but everyone has their reasons for drinking or not. Yours sound like really good reasons not to. I have never really liked the taste of alcohol. Thank goodness. I mostly have problems with sodas and sugar. They may be comparing apples to oranges, but I have always though I am so glad I don’t like the way it taste, or I would have a super hard time quitting. Alcohol is not always fun. Glad you found out what works for you! #anbloggerslinkup
March 25, 2017 @ 5:18 AM
I love this. I also get tired of talking about sobriety sometimes, and not having an off-switch is probably the hardest part about sobriety for me. It really does take work, and sometimes I get mad about that. But the benefits outweigh those issues, for sure.
Everything else was great, too. 100% agreed. Good stuff!
May 4, 2018 @ 5:39 PM
Thanks
March 26, 2017 @ 7:55 PM
Congratulations on 100 days. Inspiring! #BlogCrush
March 27, 2017 @ 8:48 PM
Thank you for writing this post. I am not drinking currently myself after a very embarrassing incident. It’s nice to know I am not the only one going through this too! It’s great not drinking. It’s an honest way to look at yourself but it is challenging. And there is no way around that! I commend you for doing what you are doing!!!
March 27, 2017 @ 9:41 PM
What great insight into your journey. Go you! Congratulations.
March 28, 2017 @ 12:48 AM
Good on you for making this decision! I know it can’t be easy. I enjoy a glass of wine now and then but I’ve cut down a LOT – for me it’s because the hangover is just not worth it anymore. I wish you the best of luck on your journey!
March 28, 2017 @ 12:31 PM
Thank you! This was inspirational and encouraging. And congratulations on your 100 days! Looking forward to seeing your journey at the 200 mark;)
March 28, 2017 @ 1:18 PM
Well done. I commend you on your efforts. Thank you for your honesty!
March 28, 2017 @ 1:55 PM
Beautifully written! Congratulations on your 100 days! And good luck with the rest of your life. I watch an addict in my life struggle every single day, so it’s encouraging to see a story like yours. Prayers for your continued sobriety. And you’ve created a follower out of me.
March 28, 2017 @ 2:56 PM
Laurie, what a wonderful post! And I congratulate you on this milestone of your journey. Keep up the good work. My brother has been sober many years now and though, as you wisely point out in your post, it didn’t “magic away all of his problems,” it made him capable of dealing with his problems in ways he could never have done while drinking. He would tell you that quitting drinking was the best decision he ever made. Oh, yes, about those people who urge you to “have just one” — you’re right. No explanations necessary, just No Thank You. And for those who push, a second (and final) No Thank You with a voice and facial expression that makes clear that that’s the end of the matter! Wishing you all the best.
March 28, 2017 @ 3:56 PM
Congrats on your 100 days! Thanks for sharing this post! Loved it!
March 28, 2017 @ 4:30 PM
Well done and well said! I’m alcohol free and it’s absolutely amazing. I get sick of telling people why I don’t drink, it’s quite annoying, but you have to find strength and believe in yourself. This is the only way to get through and stick to your word TO YOURSELF. That’s all that matters 🙂
March 28, 2017 @ 5:27 PM
Congratulations! From personal experience, I know this can be super hard. But it looks like you have established some great coping skills! Keep up the great work! I hope you are super proud of yourself #TriumphantTales
March 29, 2017 @ 9:06 AM
I rarely drink and it seems as if everyone I know is judging me for not doing it. Right now, no 5 – Some people won’t get it, and that’s ok. I have them feels. #AnythingGoes
March 29, 2017 @ 2:10 PM
Great advice. I cut down dramatically 12 yrs ago mostly to lose weight and it changed me. I don’t hang with alcoholics now who are bad influences on me and spend my time more constructively.
March 29, 2017 @ 2:46 PM
congratulations on 100 days and best of luck going forward. It something that I probably am going to have to seriously consider at some point myself #triumphanttales
March 30, 2017 @ 12:10 AM
Congratulations on 100 days with no alcohol, that’s amazing! I used to drink a lot in my teens buy now I’m a mum is hardly ever drink. I love the wisdom you’ve shared here and I’m sure anyone thinking about giving you alcohol will find this post very helpful. Thanks for linking up to #BlogCrush xx
March 30, 2017 @ 7:01 PM
I think learning to say no thank you is great advice that can be used in many situations. Great post and I’m looking forward to reading more! ? Thank you for linking up to #ablogginggoodtime ?
March 31, 2017 @ 6:30 PM
Congratulations on your 100 days. My husband and I gave up drinking nearly 3 years ago for a few reasons, our son being the main one, and we’ve never looked back. The old associations and habits have been replaced with new ones and our lives are much happier without it. We’ve lost some friends along the way which surprised and hurt us but we know it’s their loss and not ours, all because we no longer drink. That said we have gained new ones. Raising a cup of tea to your next 100 days xx #BloggerClubUK
March 31, 2017 @ 7:55 PM
I have also not been drinking and I haven’t really missed it to be honest. Well done to you!
Thanks for linking up to #AnythingGoes
April 3, 2017 @ 4:08 PM
Well done. It’s a great achievement and really great that you are so positive about it. Thanks for linking up to #TriumphantTales and please do come back again tomorrow 🙂
April 3, 2017 @ 7:55 PM
These are some really good tips and I am so glad you are doing so well and so happy in the choices you have made.
Thank you for sharing your journey with us at #TriumphantTales
April 3, 2017 @ 7:57 PM
Popping back from #ablogginggoodtime
April 25, 2017 @ 1:26 PM
First off, congrats on your 100 days! Super proud of you. It’s great to see a person in their twenties with as much introspection as you have. I like the blog so I’m following now. Hope to see more great things from you in the future. Good luck!
April 25, 2017 @ 1:47 PM
Congrats, what a great motivation and inspiration you are for others. It takes a lot to really look at once self and make the necessary changes that need to be made to be happy. Best of luck!
June 23, 2017 @ 9:29 AM
Loved reading this. I was never a drinker per se, I had a glass of wine with a good meal when I ate out or a cider on the weekend. Last January I decided to cut alcohol out of my life to see what happens. Didn’t expect much change but weirdly enough I dropped a dress size since then and went from a 12 to a 10 (UK). I am so happy you took this step for yourself and I hope you can stick with it. 100 days are a fantastic big step. Be proud!.
October 30, 2017 @ 9:19 AM
I really relate to your comment “I thought giving up alcohol would magic away all of my problems”… Giving up alcohol can be so challenging that it’s easy to assume that if you achieve that goal everything else will improve. I thought weight would just drop off me (lol, I clearly forgot about healthy eating and exercise) and I just presumed I’d feel unbelievably healthy, but not drinking is only one step towards a healthier life (inside and out). Thanks for sharing your story; it’s so interesting to hear your perspective.
I’ve recently done 10 weeks alcohol free, and I’ve decided to extend the personal challenge for a few more weeks. I’ve written about my experience here, for anyone interested: http://www.thislifeisbelle.com/home/2017/10/19/what-i-learned-from-going-alcohol-free-for-10-weeks
December 5, 2017 @ 2:49 PM
Thank you for the tips! I am thinking about cutting short alcohol but it’s really hard form me because of social pressure.
January 31, 2018 @ 10:33 AM
I hardly ever drink now and it is so much better. We all need a pick me up or a slow me down at times but many things have improved since i cut out booze like depression, gastro problems, family disputes etc.
I drank as it was part of my friends social world. Drink is very powerful it overpowers nearly everything else.
I decided to be healthy and give been healthy a fair go at it.
April 1, 2018 @ 3:42 AM
So disappointed this article misrepresents the importance of surrounding oneself around others that are suffering from this DISEASE of addiction. This is an arrogant and grandiose article. Yes, a little over three months is progress, however; this is very early in a life long journey to post how ONE can do this alone. I would be interested to hear how your recovery is moving forward when you reach a year of sobriety. Wishing you well.
April 1, 2018 @ 8:45 AM
Hi Shannon
Thank you for taking the time to comment. We all have our own paths and this is the one I’ve chosen.
Here is the article I wrote for my one year of sobriety: https://girlandtonic.co.uk/one-year-sober/ and today I am reaching 16 months.
Best
Laurie
December 15, 2018 @ 3:45 PM
What an awful reply to a person who has just shared a life experience- typical 12 step soldier, as alwsys arrogant & grandiose, thinking there is onlt one way to get sober. My husband has been clean 11 years without using ‘the big (very outdated) book’. Every person wanting to get clean or sober is INDIVIDUAL!! therefore their experience will be different to others. You don’t need to join a cult or be a part of a group, there are lots of ways. I congratulate the young woman who wrote this post, its HER journey, not yours (with your negative & extremely Arrogent views and opinions).
May 23, 2018 @ 4:15 PM
Loved this. I decided to do it last year but only lasted three weeks. I thought I’d suddenly be awake and feel amazing, but to be honest I was disappointed I wasn’t instantly transformed and ended up going back to bad habits. I’d still like to quit but have to find new strength for it. Thanks for tips!
June 1, 2018 @ 8:31 AM
Day one for me today?? I shall read the recommended books and change my routines. Here goes……………..
October 28, 2018 @ 11:18 PM
Some very good advice, It’s 6 months not drinking for me, I found reading the book “The unexpected joy of being sober” by Catherine Grey helped me and the easy quit drinking app helped also
November 11, 2018 @ 3:54 PM
Hi this is my first day on my 100 day cha!leave looking forward to being a better version of myself .
August 27, 2019 @ 9:06 AM
I’m 9 weeks without drinking. The surprising thing is I don’t miss it. It’s not hard at all. Because I’ve changed my mindset. I now see alcohol for what it is. Poison. Addictive poison. They use alcohol to kill germs in hospitals. Why would I drink that? I wouldn’t drink bleach would I?
I love my life now. I can eat more and still lose weight. I sleep all night. 8 hours sleep is so refreshing. I don’t have to apologise for my behaviour. I can drive all the time. I am saving shed loads of money. I even like going to my exercise classes! Remember, it’s addictive poison wrapped up in sugar. Yuk
February 9, 2020 @ 3:55 PM
Ah this post is so relatable! Especially learning to say no. That is something which I’m still working on, but it’s so darn important to put your own well being first. Also on the point of getting tired of talking about (and thinking about) not drinking. I have also found the same with being vegan. Oh what an all round cliche I am haha! And proud might I add 😉
x