I don’t drink anymore, but I’m single. What to do and say when you’re not drinking (and/or sober) on a first date?
From personal experience, one of my biggest blocks in trying to drink less, and when I stopped drinking completely, is the first date sober. The pre-date fears, the in date dutch courage and commonality of sharing a drink are first date rituals I’ve had to work through overcoming.
I’ve found it much easier to first date sober in Dry January and Sober October (kind of goes with the territory). I know that this won’t be a big issue for some people. My friends in the country first date sober constantly because they have to drive everywhere, damn city living and cheap uber’s:
So my options for a first date sober?
Option 1. Tell them your date you’re not drinking before you meet.
The most straightforward approach and one I have tried many a time. Works well to with straight up nice people. with sensible people, less well with the “lad” type. One such “lad” cancelled straight up when I told him I wouldn’t be drinking in advance of the date, ouch.
Option 2. You choose the venue in advance and choose somewhere that has a multitude of alcohol free options.
There are so many lovely places now that have really lovely alcohol free cocktail menu’s and a choice of many alcohol free beers. This is a good option for those of you who are bored of drinking diet coke, or slimline tonic (my favourite) as it gives you some variety and allows your date to drink.
Option 3. Get to the date venue early and order your own drink!
Great if your date has already chosen the venue, you didn’t feel up for telling them you weren’t drinking in advance or you’ve just decided you don’t want too. Inspired my friend J who recently went on a date, arrived early (by accident) and ordered a tonic water. Her date arrived and ordered a gin & tonic. When ordering their second round, she ordered a tonic and her date ordered a tonic too – stating that he didn’t drink much at all but had ordered a drink because he had assumed she was drinking!
Option 4. Plan an activity where your focus isn’t drinking!
This is no longer my favoured option, these days I’m more of a fan of having the awkward sat in front of each other in a pub/coffee shop date as the first date so that I can gage if we have a genuine connection. However, sometimes you just don’t want to do that. In this situation, an activity can save the
So what are you waiting for? Go on your first date sober & let me know how you get on!
All my love, L xx