How Sobriety Helped me Buy a House

How Sobriety Helped Me Buy a House.

This week I picked up the keys for my new house. It is the first house I have bought, and I am very excited. I shared the key-picking up on my Instagram stories and lost about 200 followers. In fact, every time I have posted about buying a house on Instagram I’ve lost followers. It got me thinking, my Instagram account and this blog are predominantly about sobriety and so maybe people don’t want to hear about my house? But the thing is without my sobriety, there would be no house. Sobriety is a superpower that can help you (me) with all big and small dreams.

Two years ago I was £5000 in debt, and 3 months sober. Fast forward two years and I bought a house. What got me to this point? Lots of yoga teaching, getting a new full-time job & my sobriety.

Sobriety:

• Saves you money
• Teaches you to take one day at a time
• Shows you that you can do really hard things

Let’s break it down.

Sobriety saves you (me) money

When I was drinking, I’d often go out 3-6 nights a week. In fact, it was rare that I stayed in. Every paycheque was spent on rent, travel, food, and going out. I never had any money left at the end of the month, often I had lots of month left at the end of my money. I didn’t really drink at home unless I had friends coming over, but I wasn’t at home much – so I drank and spent a lot! Drinking is expensive wherever you live; and in London, you’re looking at £20 per bottle of wine if you’re out at a pub – and £30 if you’re at a restaurant. In December 2016, I spent £1000 on going out! I didn’t have £1,000 to spend, I was living way beyond my means.

When I stopped drinking, I removed this cost. I still go out, although not as much as I relocated to Norfolk & teach yoga some evenings, but rather than spending £20, I spend £5 on an elderflower & soda or Seedlip. Added to this, I don’t spend money on late-night uber rides because I’ve missed the last tube – and I actually prepare food in advance so I’m not hungover spending. I wrote more about this for Glamour last May, when I tracked that I’d saved £10,000 in 18 months.

Sobriety teaches you to take it one day at a time

In the early days of sobriety, I worked on it day by day. What could I do that day that would help me stay alcohol-free, and – more importantly – would help me enjoy being sober? Stopping drinking taught me to keep it in the day AND to look at the bigger picture. I had a vision of being long term sober, but to achieve that I needed to stay alcohol-free every day.

I have always been quite conscientious about money, I’m good with numbers and like to have a plan (read: control freak). BUT when drinking or hungover, I turned into a YOLO (you only live once) person. The budget would go out of the window and I’d spend all my money on being out or on holidays; and when hungover I would treat myself to anything & everything to try and ease my anxiety.

Beyond money, when hungover I wouldn’t do the things I said I was going to do. I’d spend whole days sitting on the sofa watching TV. I don’t think this is a bad thing, it was how I coped and made myself feel safe when faced with the crippling anxiety & shame that hit me with almost every hangover. But, now I don’t have hangovers I actually get a lot done. I have a full-time job, but I teach yoga on the side – and that extra time in the day has come from my sobriety.

Living with a focus on what can be done in one day, on the present moment, has helped me get my anxiety under control, become more productive & stick to a budget.

Sobriety shows you that you can do really hard things

Stopping drinking is one of the hardest things you can do. Even if you don’t find the process of stopping challenging (although in my experience most people do), you are subverting what is expected of you in society.

Being an adult in the UK (and around the world) means you drink. Alcohol is marketed to us as fun juice, something you need to have a good time. Booze is used to celebrate, to relax, and to commiserate; champagne at weddings, Guinness on St Patrick’s Day, wine with dinner – I could keep going. So choosing to go against that, is pretty tough!

When getting sober, you have to rewire your brain. Every life event becomes a new challenge – first sober birthday, first sober Christmas, first sober wedding. Every occasion is a brilliant opportunity to experience a life event with your eyes wide open & remember everything – where you’ll more than likely be asked many times if you’d like a drink. ‘Go on, just one,’ they’ll say. But you say no, and with every ‘no thank you’ you bolster your self-belief. You become more confident in your life decisions, and therefore in yourself. And if you can do the hard thing of becoming sober, you feel like you can do anything!

I found this new found self-belief helped me a lot when thinking about buying the house. Owning a home is something I have always wanted. But I thought I’d never do it. The media is full of articles about how millennials will never buy houses because we spend all our money on avocado, how houses are out of our leagues, and how single people will never get a mortgage. But I stopped drinking, I stayed away from booze even when it was literally shoved in my face. That was hard. If I could do that, I believed I could buy a house; I could focus on the day; keep within my budget, teach extra hours & get a better job so I could get a mortgage. And on Friday I picked up the keys!

Grateful for my sobriety

So today I’m feeling grateful for being alcohol-free, and for the life changes it has stimulated. How has your life changed since you stopped drinking? What are your big dreams for the next 5 years?

All my love, L xx

You can read more about how giving up drinking helped me by a house on BBC news here!

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