How sobriety changed my life

When I speak to people about how sobriety changed my life, I often tell them sobriety gave me the stable foundations I needed to get my shit together and to create the life I want to live.

Let me give you the back story … In 2015, I was drinking a lot. I was out most nights – with a hangover to match the next morning. With every drink, I felt like I was getting further away from the life that I wanted.

Drinking, life was one step forward and two steps back.

When I was still drinking my life was one step forward, two steps back. No matter how much I tried, no matter how much self-work I put in. And in the two years, I was trying (and failing) to stop drinking it was a lot of work. But it was a game of alcohol-induced snakes and ladders and I kept falling down the ladder.

December 2016 is when I turned my life around. Not because sobriety is a quick fix or a magic pill. But because the steady base sobriety gave me enabled me to start to fix the other stuff that was going wrong in my life.

Now four (and a bit) years happily sober, I’ve discovered that sobriety has benefits that improve my life beyond no hangovers – which really is great – and better health. I’ve written a lot about the big changes that being sober has bought me, about how sobriety helped me buy a house, about my move to Cambodia, and about how not drinking has helped me get my shit together.

But for me, sobriety is not really about the milestones anymore or the huge changes. In truth, I don’t count the days – I’d have to check to tell you how many sober days I have now! And so today, I’m writing about the (not always) small ways sobriety has changed my life.

These things don’t always get mentioned, but have actually made a big difference in how I live my life day-to-day and I am forever grateful to the Laurie of December 2016 who decided enough was enough and put down the booze for good.

How sobriety changed my life – every day

1. I remember everything I did last night (and the night before that, and the night before that …)

Long gone are the days where I have to piece together a night out based on snippets of memory, credit card transactions, oyster card logs and whispering to friends “What happened?” Now I can tell you what I ate for dinner, what I drank & what we talked about. This sounds small but it was a game-changer for me. I have huge gaps in my memory from all of the nights I spent drinking, slowly but surely I am now building a life that I can remember.

2. More sleep.

A benefit of sobriety that’s often cited is better quality sleep, but an added joy for me has been getting way more sleep. I don’t stay out later than I planned, I’m much better and turning off Netflix after two episodes (rather than five) and I’m almost always in bed before midnight. Most days, I wake up feeling refreshed and I love it.

3. Checking my bank account is no longer a distressing event.

These days I actually enjoy managing my money. I am no longer petrified to look at my bank statements. Gone are the six-month periods where I refuse to look at my bank account, and I actually save money most months. Added bonus, I remember what I’ve spent my money on. Not drunkenly ordering two new outfits on ASOS or buying rounds of drinks for new “friends” are great money-savers too.

4. I plan meals for the week, and I actually eat them.

In my drinking days, I would plan all my meals and do a big supermarket shop, only to throw all the food away the following weekend after another week of un-planned eating out. Instead, I’d grab chips on the way home and hungover Pret purchases at work. Or I would order takeaways when I couldn’t be bothered to cook the food I had already bought. These days I eat the food I buy; I actually like cooking it (who knew!) and I no longer experience the pangs of guilt when throwing away my good intentions.

5. My phone is no longer a fear-inducing device.

 Drunken texts are a thing of the past. I’m not joking when I say that I used to delete entire conversations when I was drinking since morning-after-me couldn’t bear to look at the messages I’d sent. Now I unlock my mobile with ease and the anxiety of reading messages from friends or men in the early stages of dating has dissipated.

6. I enjoy exercise.

My relationship with exercise has totally changed. I previously used it as a way to sweat out a hangover and to convince myself I was healthy – even if I was going to the gym & then meeting a friend for a mid-week bottle (or two) of wine. Sober Laurie teaches yoga and actually likes running. It feels like a miracle but now I exercise for me, for fun and it is so much more enjoyable.

7. I am honest about how much I drink, nothing!

Doctors’ appointments and health check-ups are no longer an exercise in deception. When I arrive at the ‘How many units do you drink in a week?’ box, I happily enter 0 units. And it feels SO good.

8. My skin is clearer.

The angry red blotch I permanently had on my chest has disappeared. It stays gone 99% of the time, only making a reappearance when I am incredibly anxious!

9. I do what I say I’ll do.

This is the biggest one for me, the change I am proudest of when I think about how sobriety changed my life. I now keep promises to myself and to the people around me. Cancelled breakfast dates, workouts and zoom calls are a thing of the past. If I say I’m going to be there, I’m there. Both for myself, for my family and for everyone else.

Excited for even more life-changing sober days

 Every day, I am excited to wake up in the morning and keep living a sober life. I never knew how much alcohol had seeped into all the corners of my life, and how much better off I’d be without it.

If you’re looking for sober support, to build confidence and overcome low self-esteem without alcohol, then head over to the work with me page to find out more about how I support women as a life and empowerment coach.

If you want to keep reading, take a look at:

Reflections at four years sober

Willpower isn’t enough – how habits can help you stop drinking

Staying sober – choosing a hangover free life