How to Manage When You are Feeling Alone
You are not alone in this world. Although sometimes it might feel like it.
Sometimes life is tough. Sometimes deciding to live your life differently can feel isolating. Your friends might not understand, or they might, but you may just be fed up of talking about it. Some days feel harder than others, some days you might feel more alone than others – I wrote the below to myself when I first stopped drinking & I still turn to it to help me manage when I am feeling alone …
You are not alone on your journey to be a happier, well-rounded person.
You are not alone in the quest to open your heart, to be more you, to give out love and kindness to everyone you meet.
Even though it feels isolating sometimes. Even though it makes you want to run away.
Run away to a space where you can be that you want to be when you’re alone with your thoughts.
It might feel easier to be yourself when you’re not surrounded by the people who remember who you were, who remember the you that you don’t want to be anymore.
The girl who made mistakes, the girl who chose herself above others, the girl who cancelled plans at the last minute, the girl who didn’t show up or the girl who drank too much or the girl who did all of the above and more.
Do you feel shame, regret or guilt? Do you feel all of the above? Like you can’t redeem yourself from the wrongs that you have thus far partaken in? You are not alone.
You can start again. You can start over. You can be the person you want to be. You are already that person. This is only the beginning.
Remember. It will not always be this way.
Tell yourself a good story. The darkness will dissipate at some point. Life is amazing and exciting and full of joy. The darkness will lift, your loneliness, depression, fear or anxiety will shift, and you will see the light again. Wait it out. You are not alone.
On days when I am feeling alone, or like my decision to go alcohol free, try and do the yoga thing and share my journey with the (internet) world is the difficult path, and like it would be so much easier to go the other way, I draw from the healthy tools I have put in place, in my own emotional toolbox, to get through that day and manage my alone-ness. I’ve listed 5 of these below.
5 Tools for your emotional toolbox, to use when you are feeling alone or isolated or having a tough day:
1. Visualisation
Take two minutes out and give yourself a moment to dream. Visualise your happiest self five years from now. Who would you be five years from now? What would you be doing? Who would you be with? What would your life look like? Don’t hold back, there are no limitations in this vision of yourself.
2. Writing
I write a lot, and I write about writing a lot. Taking 5 minutes to scribble down all of your thoughts and feelings can be a great way to identify our feelings & begin to process them. I wrote a full post on writing which you can read for a bit more information and some prompts: Feeling stuck try writing to improve your wellbeing.
3. Meditation/Quiet Time
Spending time in meditation or just giving myself a little bit of quiet can be what I need to quieten the thoughts or feelings spinning round in my head. There are some meditation techniques to try in this post, but often I find (especially if I am out of the house), putting on some music for meditation, there is a playlist on Prime Music which I like, & watching my breath is what I need to reground.
4. Reading
Turning to books, others advice and stories has got me through so many difficult situations. I want to read more fiction but right now I am in a non fiction, self-improvement bubble and that’s ok too. These 13 books changed my life and I’m currently reading the Dalai Lama’s The Art of Happiness: A Handbook for Living
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5. Baths
Last but definitely not least, and if you’re not a bath person then you might not get this, but baths are one of my favourite tools to switch off from it all. Though it isn’t always possible to have a bath (stressed out in the office, no bath available), getting home at the end of the day & having a bath allows me to decompress, destress and leave the day behind.
My favourite bath time treat at the moment is this bathing powder from Root & Flower – yum! I also love a combination of epsom salts & lavender essential oil.
Holly from Hip Sobriety has written a brilliant post on HOW TO BUILD A SOBRIETY TOOLBOX. (+ 27 TOOLS.) which I can not recommend enough for further reading and inspiration!
What tools do you turn too? I’d love to hear about them, send me an email or let me know over on instagram.
All my love, L xx
You can find this post linked to some of these amazing blog link ups –
Mummy Fever, #SharewithMe / #BlogCrush Naptime Natter / #BigPinkLink / #TriumphantTales / #BloggerClubUK / Brilliant Blog Posts
March 17, 2017 @ 7:15 PM
As a person who regularly has these spells, thank you for this list. I cope by writing about it too.
March 17, 2017 @ 7:17 PM
Lovely, thanks for sharing, the world needs more of this #blogcrush
March 18, 2017 @ 4:16 PM
Oh I totally get the bath thing, if I am stressed I always run and hide away in the bath for couple hours, it really helps. Your so right about writing too, it really helps to get all your thoughts down on paper. I like the sound of visualisation too and I’m also one for reading books to try and destress/escape real life for a bit. Thanks for linking this to #BlogCrush xx
March 20, 2017 @ 8:46 PM
I love Lavender! I agree it’s great for relaxing too. I noticed we are from the same city sporting the same name!
Thank you for linking up to Celebrating Style. I hope you come back x
http://www.vanityandmestyle.com
March 20, 2017 @ 10:34 PM
Writing has always been an escape for me. In fact when I was feeling lonley I would write down things I wanted in my future husband. I never wrote down what I didn’t want only what I wanted. Crazy thing is I am no longer lonely. I am getting engaged in August and he is everything and more I wanted. Of course I was never really lonely because I did always have Jesus.
March 20, 2017 @ 11:11 PM
Great tips.
March 21, 2017 @ 12:11 PM
Sometimes, If I felt like I’m alone I just bike and make myself tired then sleep when I woke up I felt rejuvenated and refreshed. This is a Great tip though!
March 21, 2017 @ 10:24 PM
I love the way you broke these tips down. Sometimes we need to make the best of our “me” time!
March 22, 2017 @ 7:09 PM
I find just being a part of these groups and conversations makes you realise we’re all going through similar things and gives you the lift you need! #TriumphantTales
March 22, 2017 @ 7:11 PM
I have been feeling very lonely of late so these tips are all great. I tend to write, always have, which is where my blog comes in useful! #sharewithme
March 22, 2017 @ 10:01 PM
I am a mediative bath girl myself, you have great suggestions. Keep up the good work.
March 23, 2017 @ 1:41 AM
I think water period brings me calm. Sitting at the lake,or by a creek, a long hot shower or relaxing bath, they all have a calming centering effect on me. These are great tips, thank you for sharing.
March 26, 2017 @ 8:16 PM
These are some great tips! Writing is my therapy every time! Thanks so much for joining us at #TriumphantTales, please do come back next week.
March 27, 2017 @ 6:07 PM
These are brilliant tools to be used whether it be for sobriety reasons or just for when you’re having a crappy day. A few weeks back I had a really crappy week and after a lot of tears one day I just sat and wrote. It is now one of my best posts to date both view wise and with how I feel about the post itself.
Thank you for sharing your tips with us at #TriumphantTales. I hope to see you back again tomorrow.
March 29, 2017 @ 10:57 AM
Really good coping tips – I totally agree with you and have used some of these myself. Thanks for linking to #sharewithme
April 6, 2017 @ 6:40 PM
Writing is definitely my therapy, loneliness is very difficult to deal with, we’ve all been there. #brilliantblogposts
May 16, 2017 @ 3:36 PM
Thanks for sharing! After my first year of college, I definitely got used to being alone. Even though it wasn’t fun at first (considering I am a huge, gigantic extrovert), it eventually became a time I would enjoy. I usually resorted to reading and writing my thoughts, and I would always feel so rejuvenated afterwards. Thanks for the advice 🙂
Much love,
Ashley | dearash.com
May 25, 2017 @ 7:52 AM
Love this post, I get these lonely days (as you know because I stalk you ha). So nice to know that others feel the same way.
May 25, 2017 @ 10:49 AM
<3 <3 <3 Always here when you are lonely xx
June 9, 2017 @ 10:09 PM
Great tools there. I’m sorry you feel lonely, we all go through those times so this resonates. I think the key is to surround yourself with people who make you feel good. To keep a tight circle and to always be kind to yourself xx
August 2, 2017 @ 11:00 AM
I’m so with you on writing for our mental well-being. That’s why I started my blog and even now if I give myself an hour to write my feelings down it helps me re-evaluate things and gives me a clearer vision.
So glad I’ve found your blog! Thanks for sharing 🙂
Leanne x
August 4, 2017 @ 1:57 PM
A wonderful look at some accessible tools to deal with adversity and loneliness…and any of the feeling that can seem to defeat us before we are even aware. Thank you for sharing.