How to Manage When You are Feeling Alone

feeling alone

You are not alone in this world. Although sometimes it might feel like it.

Sometimes life is tough. Sometimes deciding to live your life differently can feel isolating. Your friends might not understand, or they might, but you may just be fed up of talking about it. Some days feel harder than others, some days you might feel more alone than others – I wrote the below to myself when I first stopped drinking & I still turn to it to help me manage when I am feeling alone …

You are not alone on your journey to be a happier, well-rounded person.

You are not alone in the quest to open your heart, to be more you, to give out love and kindness to everyone you meet.

Even though it feels isolating sometimes. Even though it makes you want to run away.

Run away to a space where you can be that you want to be when you’re alone with your thoughts.

It might feel easier to be yourself when you’re not surrounded by the people who remember who you were, who remember the you that you don’t want to be anymore.

The girl who made mistakes, the girl who chose herself above others, the girl who cancelled plans at the last minute, the girl who didn’t show up or the girl who drank too much or the girl who did all of the above and more.

Do you feel shame, regret or guilt? Do you feel all of the above? Like you can’t redeem yourself from the wrongs that you have thus far partaken in? You are not alone.

You can start again. You can start over. You can be the person you want to be. You are already that person. This is only the beginning.

Remember. It will not always be this way.

feeling alone

Tell yourself a good story. The darkness will dissipate at some point. Life is amazing and exciting and full of joy. The darkness will lift, your loneliness, depression, fear or anxiety will shift, and you will see the light again. Wait it out. You are not alone.  

On days when I am feeling alone, or like my decision to go alcohol free, try and do the yoga thing and share my journey with the (internet) world is the difficult path, and like it would be so much easier to go the other way, I draw from the healthy tools I have put in place, in my own emotional toolbox, to get through that day and manage my alone-ness. I’ve listed 5 of these below.

5 Tools for your emotional toolbox, to use when you are feeling alone or isolated or having a tough day:

1. Visualisation

Take two minutes out and give yourself a moment to dream. Visualise your happiest self five years from now. Who would you be five years from now? What would you be doing? Who would you be with? What would your life look like? Don’t hold back, there are no limitations in this vision of yourself.

2. Writing

I write a lot, and I write about writing a lot. Taking 5 minutes to scribble down all of your thoughts and feelings can be a great way to identify our feelings & begin to process them. I wrote a full post on writing which you can read for a bit more information and some prompts: Feeling stuck try writing to improve your wellbeing.

3. Meditation/Quiet Time

Spending time in meditation or just giving myself a little bit of quiet can be what I need to quieten the thoughts or feelings spinning round in my head. There are some meditation techniques to try in this post, but often I find (especially if I am out of the house), putting on some music for meditation, there is a playlist on Prime Music which I like, & watching my breath is what I need to reground.

4. Reading

Turning to books, others advice and stories has got me through so many difficult situations. I want to read more fiction but right now I am in a non fiction, self-improvement bubble and that’s ok too. These 13 books changed my life and I’m currently reading the Dalai Lama’s The Art of Happiness: A Handbook for Living.

5. Baths

feeling aloneLast but definitely not least, and if you’re not a bath person then you might not get this, but baths are one of my favourite tools to switch off from it all. Though it isn’t always possible to have a bath (stressed out in the office, no bath available), getting home at the end of the day & having a bath allows me to decompress, destress and leave the day behind.

My favourite bath time treat at the moment is this bathing powder from Root & Flower – yum! I also love a combination of epsom salts & lavender essential oil.

 

Holly from Hip Sobriety has written a brilliant post on HOW TO BUILD A SOBRIETY TOOLBOX. (+ 27 TOOLS.) which I can not recommend enough for further reading and inspiration!

What tools do you turn too? I’d love to hear about them, send me an email or let me know over on instagram.

All my love, L xx

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