Stopping drinking, an instant clarity pill but not the quick fix to an entire life overhaul one may hope – my life is much much better but getting better with money is now high on my priorities.
For me, binge drinking went hand in hand with binge spending. It seemed easier to bury my head in the sand and spend on my credit cards than feel my feelings and process why I felt the urge to buy that new top, holiday or five books.
For me a new top isn’t a new top – it’s a new me. New outfits, hair cut, make up – a chance to reinvent myself – convinced that who I am wasn’t enough, that new purchase would enable me to be a whole new person …
Had a bad day? Change my look. A terrible break up? Well a different haircut could solve that. I thought that if I could change myself, my appearance, my weight, my location, my emotional state, my happiness, would improve.
Spending, like drinking, was a plaster I would stick on top of the feelings I did not want to process.
So stopping drinking was the first step I took towards loving myself more, towards focusing on my inner self worth, rather than my outer appearance.
Four months in and taking responsibility for myself now feels natural (most days). A sentence I never thought I’d write. Self care feels almost normal, a prerequisite and my go-to. I understand that I need to take time out for me, that I come first and that if I don’t put myself first then who else will.
Facing my finances feels like a natural progression here. I’ve started to become more aware of myself, of my actions and the way I spend has been on my mind of late.
Feeling safe and supported are key for my wellbeing. Financially I’d like to feel safe and supported also. Conscious spending, and financial security that is my end goal.
This isn’t a pay off £80,000 in debt in a year post. These are my early days, gentle steps, assessing the situation.
Here are the 5 things I’m doing to be better with money:
1. Reading and learning about conscious finances and money
This is where my journey really started, the steps that follow on from here all began with the books I read about money.
I started with some of the usuals: The Millionaire’s Mind & I will teach you to be rich, but whilst they outlaid strategies to manage finances, they didn’t teach me to manage my own emotions around money and thus whilst I always came out with a plan – I never quite managed to put that plan into action.
And then I read Kate Northrup’s Money: A Love Story (I wrote about it, as well as 12 other books that changed my life here) – and I felt my attitude towards money begin to shift. The stories and anecdotes in Kate’s book are fantastic but what really helped me in this book were the step-by-step exercises that address both the emotional and practical aspects of your financial life (more on that later).
Reading has been helping me to shift my beliefs about money, and see that their are other perspectives beyond mine in managing money and finances. create a budget, spend in line with your values, get out of debt and so much more.
2.Exploring my beliefs on money
Money: A Love Story began this work for me, encouraging me to explore my feelings around money and what emotions think about spending, saving and earning brought up.
Figuring out my personal perceptions of money and wealth is helping me cultivate awareness to be able to change my beliefs for the better.
It’s the beginning of my money journey, not the end – but I feel inspired when I consider my beliefs & not depressed at my situation and that was a very positive shift for me!!
3. Morning affirmations & a money meditation
From yet more books I have read, many affirmations around wealth and money have come up. Affirmations work for me, they give me a point of focus and set me up for the day. So if you are sceptical I get it, but give it a try …
I’ve chosen a few that work for me and (try to) speak them every morning. Here’s a few to work with:
I rejoice in the abundance that I am.
I am full of the richness of life
I am grateful for all the wealth in my life
I am worthy of prosperity and wealth
I choose prosperity and wealth
I am open to receiving abundance so that I may share it with the world,
Recently I’ve added to this work with a meditation focusing on abundance and being a Rich Witch, a lot of the work I’ve been doing has been influenced by Lara Rose Duong – The Modern Money Witch – and her Rich Witch vibes. I downloaded her free meditation & have been listening to it in the evenings.
4. Setting financial goals
This is where I used to fall down. I’d set a budget, and then swiftly overspend. Or I’d set goals that were totally unachievable. Now I have one goal, and it sits amongst my other goals.
I goal set in the present tense, as recommended in Jody Shield’s Life Tonic – a book I’m reading at the moment and highly recommend – and focus on how the goal will make me feel:
I am financially free
– I feel supported and able to pursue my purpose and passions
5. Buying a new purse
Here’s the fun bit! I’m going to buy a new purse to start my new financial journey.
I’ve cleared out everything I don’t need from the old one so I can focus on all of the positive ways wealth and abundance make me feel.
I’m going to choose a purse I love and make my wallet a money magnet following these two articles from The Numinous:
A bit of a different post on money, but a positive one I hope. My next steps will be to set a budget and I have started using my new Monzo card to see where my money goes – but, like with drinking, I am trying very hard to approach this new focus on money with positivity and as an opportunity to learn and grow, rather than berating myself for how much debt I am in or seeing myself as a failure for not starting sooner.
How do you manage your money? Any practices you can share to help me?
As always, I’d love to hear from you: comment below, send me an email or chat to me on instagram.
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